Hello dear readers…
Sorry I’ve been MIA for a bit but I had another bad flareup this past week. Darn air fresheners at work again! But luckily, my supervisor sent out a new email that seems to be a bit more effective. So, doing a bit better today… (for now… *dramatic music*)
How are you all feeling this week? Have you checked your peak flow meters my pretties?
Asthma can be frustrating, but sometimes, it feels as if our own bodies are betraying us. I look in the mirror in the bathroom at home sometimes when I’m having trouble and think, why me? Why did I get asthma? Why did my lungs develop the way they did? It’s ironic because my brother ended up a smoker, and I ended up with the asthma. Go figure.
If I didn’t have asthma, I’d probably be a smoker too…heh. (It just looks cool)
I’ve even been using a bowl of vinegar in the room they put me in at work to help absorb and neutralize any fragrances that get sprayed into the air, since they travel once they do. It helps a bit, but then I reek of vinegar and I get weird looks from folks at work. lol.
Did I mention how much I don’t care anymore though? Once you’ve struggled with asthma for enough years and work is part of the problem, you start to feel angry and resentful towards your coworkers since they contribute to your misery with their air fresheners, perfumes, etc. So, after awhile you start to become jaded and bitter and don’t really give a flying circus of monkeys what they think of you anymore.
They, are the enemy after all. You secretly wish you could drown them in a giant vat of their own disgusting perfumes, so that they know what it feels like to gag on the stuff, but since you’re actually not a violent person and don’t want to go to prison, you keep these random homicidal thoughts to yourself.
But, it’s still fun to fantasize. For an asthmatic, sometimes our imaginations are our only escape. I suppose I should consider myself lucky though. I haven’t had to be hospitalized for an asthma attack for many years. I am part of an asthma group on Facebook, and many of the group’s members are in the hospital all the time, sometimes for days or even weeks.
So, I try to be grateful that I’m not that severe, but when I’m having symptoms it’s hard to be grateful for anything. I still get anxious, pissed off, sad, etc. It can be very frustrating, especially if the symptoms go on for days and days. I’ll even curse at my peak flow meter and accuse it of lying to me. “My chest is tight, there’s no way my number is above 450…no way… you lie!”
But that’s ok. Better to take out my asthma or steroid med rage on a plastic breathing capacity thingy than anything else, right?
One of the worse things we asthmatics do when we’re having symptoms is eat emotionally. Fried and fatty foods do not help reduce the inflammation in our bodies, but for some reason, we crave really salty or sweet foods when we’re having trouble. I’m not sure why that is since “bad” foods can contribute to asthma symptoms by increasing inflammation. But, there it is. My lungs are feeling ok, then I eat an apple. My lungs are getting bad, I need french fries AND icecream stat!
For example, I love Thanksgiving dinner, but should an asthmatic really be eating a ton of turkey in one night due to the sedative effect of the tryptophan in it? That can’t be good for the lungs…something that puts the nervous system to sleep? But every year, I gorge on turkey, get drowsy, and hope for the best.
So, that’s my update for now my kittens and puppies. I’m a bit tired, otherwise I’d continue to ramble on.
I hope you have a nice weekend, whether you read my blog or not.